Kelkeltexas’s Weblog

this cracks me up
June 3, 2009, 11:06 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is funny. I took it from the page Stuff White People Like. Yes yes I am guilty of wanting a Vespa as well.scooter

Within white culture, your choice of transportation method says a lot about you.  For example a Prius says you

 care about the Earth, a bicycle shows you REALLY care about the earth, and a bus shows that you are probably not white.  But these three options are not the only viable ways for a white person to get around, they have literally dozens of choices including Volvos, old Mercedes that run on vegetable oil, Subaru Outbacks, and Vespa Scooters.

As it stands, every single white person on earth either owns, has owned, or is dreaming about owning a Vespa Scooter.  And why not?  They are Italian, feature vintage design, low emissions, make the rider look more sophisticated, and they carry a little bit of risk. In fact, were it to have a liberal arts degree and a steady income,  a Vespa scooter would possesses every important quality that a white person looks for in a spouse.

In addition to these superficial qualities, there are some very practical benefits to white people.  Namely, scooters are perfect for gentrifying neighborhoods which are often short on parking and heavy on people who are impressed by Vespas.

If you are in search of a fun game, a white person who has recently purchased a Vespa can be a source of tremendous entertainment.  Step One, get them talking about their Vespa (easy).  Step Two, start asking them why they didn’t save money buy getting a Honda or Suzuki that gets the same mileage.  Step Three, see how many of the following justifications a white person will use during the ensuing rant:  environment, parking, urban lifestyles, union labor, writers, fuel efficiency, Roman Holiday, study abroad, and being into Vespas before other people.

Finally, the Vespa has produced one of the great paradoxes in white culture.  Vintage Vespas are infinitely cooler than newer ones, but the vintage models produce more pollution than most automobiles. If you know a white person going through this dilemma, just say something like “the amount of energy and carbon used to produce a new scooter will probably cancel out the emissions from your vintage one.”

Problem solved forever.


baking sleeve
May 19, 2009, 5:24 pm
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bakeToday I was reading the cupcake blog that I read and I came across this. Beautiful is the word that comes to mind when I saw it.A full sleeve dedicated to baking!

May 15, 2009, 4:21 pm
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Tuesday night went skating for the 3rd time since I moved here to sunny Austin Texas.
Dana,Sarah, Linz and I went and had some fun and none of us fell. We went and had some delish food@ Triumph Cafe. They have good spring rolls.Glad Dana suggested that instead of the Mexican Food I thought I wanted. Mexican food before RollerSkating would have been a bad idead.These lovely photos are stollen from Dana’s Blog.I was too scared to carry my camera,was afraid I would fall on it.s1s2s3s4s5

origins wolverine
May 2, 2009, 4:33 pm
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Last night I saw Origins Wolverine. It was good. I had been waiting on this movie to come out for some time now. Everyone should go see it I believe, even if you are not a big Comic Book person. It sure as heck doesnt hurt that a few men in this movie are cute. Personally I have had a crush on Wolverine since the first X Men movie.

My allergies are going nuts and making me tired alot I wish they would stop. It has been  a bit since I had one  of my allergy shots, need to make my way back to Denton and get one.

So the ACL List was announced this week.Personally I am excited about it Andrew Bird is playing and this makes me very happy even if I have already seen him play at SXSW this year but I could see him play everyday and be thrilled just like the first time. Several good bands playing this year. Gotta get my ticket.

Wilco Ashes of an American Flag
April 16, 2009, 4:06 pm
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wilcoI saw the new Wilco Documentary last night. AMAZING! This movie was awsome and I recommend that everyone see this. Which everyone knows that this is my favorite band, nonetheless even if you know nothing about the band this is still a good movie and  you can learn a little about the band in the process. It made me love this band even more if that is possible.

mark ryden has done it again
March 31, 2009, 6:40 pm
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yhwhMark Ryden’s first toy can you say glorious! It’s called YHWH.

March 30, 2009, 6:44 pm
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